What is Love?

This week I learned that there are four main types of love: storge, phillia, agape, and eros. Storge is a parent-child love. Phillia is a friendship love. Agape is the kind of love where you care for the well-being of others, whether you know them or not. Eros is passionate love, one you would have for a significant other. When it comes to relationships, there is a model that John Van Epp came up with to show attachment. There are five categories: knowing the person, trusting the person, relying on the person, committing to the person, and touching the person. The  beginning category should be the highest and then gradually descend through the others. It makes sense because one wouldn't trust someone before they know them, rely on them before they trust them, commit to someone they don't rely on, and touch someone they aren't committed to. People begin to have issues in their relationships when they commit too early or touch too early. It is important to go through the steps, really get to know someone, and then go from there.

Is gender a big deal?

Boys and girls each have their own gender roles. Girls tend to be more compassionate and better listeners while boys tend to be more active and rowdy. If some children don't fall under these gender roles it doesn't mean they are weird or gay. It just means that they are different. What girl wouldn't want a guy who tends to be more compassionate or a good listener? And what guy wouldn't want a girl who can play sports or act like "one of the guys?" I believe gender roles are developed a lot by example. Girls and boys have predispositions but they also learn certain characteristics from their parents. Parents don't need to freak out if their boy picks up a doll or their girl picks up a toy car. Jumping to conclusions doesn't do anything. Just be a good parent and love your children.

Culture and Class

This week I learned how class and culture affect the family unit. Class and culture shape how families live and operate together. Money can affect the closeness of family members. Not to say that rich families aren't close, but I feel like families who have more money tend to be more independent. On the other hand, families with less money are more humble and tend to rely on each other more. Culture also affects the family. Some cultures value family time and family closeness, while others value independence. I think it is very important that no matter what culture and class you belong to, that you make family a priority. I know that in my own life I have been blessed to have a close family and I would not have it ant other way.

Exchange Theory

I learned this week that there are four theories to explain why people interact the way they do. The theory that stuck out to me the most was exchange theory. This theory states that we as people weigh the pros and cons of each relationship we develop. We often ask ourselves, "What do I get out of this?" If we realize that the negative aspects outweight the rewards of the relationship, we tend to withdraw. This got me thinking that we as people are pretty selfish. The question we need to be asking is, "What can I put into the relationship to make it better?" Obviously there are some relationships that are just really unhealthy and they aren't worth saving, but what about the relationships that we just give up on because we don't have time? I think this is a great time to evaluate the relationships in my life and examine what I'm doing to make them grow and flourish. I think that is very important to do if I want to have long-lasting relationships.

Family Size Matters

This week we talked about some societal trends in the family. The one that stuck out to me most was the size of households declining. I think it is so important to have children. I grew up with four sisters in my house, I could not imagine having any other childhood experience. Yes it was absolutely crazy and insane at times but having four sisters is absolutely worth it. I love my family to death and although they drive me nuts sometimes I am very grateful to have a big family. It is so sad to see families with only one child or no children at all. Family is what life is all about. There is so much to gain from having siblings growing up. We learn social skills, problem-solving, and how to really love someone through good and bad times. I truly believe in the importance of large families and how much of a difference they can make.

My name is Amber Schultz and I'm going to be giving insight on what I'm learning this semester at BYU Idaho in my Family Relations class.