Popkin's Problem-Handling Model

When there is a problem between parents and their child/teen, a good source to use is "Popkin's Problem-Handling Model." To follow the model, the parents begin with a polite request. Then they explain how they're feeling with an "I" message. For example, "When you _____, I feel _____ because ____." If that does not work then the parents must use a firmer message. If that still doesn't work then the parents must give a logical consequence, meaning a consequence that logically fits the child's actions. An example of this is if a child keeps leaving their bike out on the lawn, the logical consequence is to take the bike away for a couple of days. That way the child knows that leaving the bike out will prevent him/her from being able to use it. Whereas, if the parent just punished the child by making him/her take out the trash, the child doesn't learn how to take care of the bike. It has to be a logical consequence. Parents must always show love for their children, even when punishing them. Discipline is a teaching moment, not a time to give negative talk to your child. Children need to have contact and feel like they belong. Parents must show respect for their children so that their children will respect them in return.